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19-Jun-2017 03:44 by 9 Comments

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Which is a shame, because I’d genuinely love to know how a white Bernie Bro thinks a Drake lyric about US politics’ very own Larry David would go.

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” Leonard Cohen (a contemporary of Sanders, now that I think of it) once spoke-sang.The Bernie Bros have taken the bait and I’ve started getting friend requests (I don’t know why Bernie Singles thinks it’s Facebook) from pixelated men in Oakley shades. She’s cute and seems nice, so I have to slap myself and scream, “THE FIRST RULE OF BERNIE SINGLES IS ‘DON’T FALL IN LOVE’”.But, my gayness aside, there’s not much chance of that happening with Christian Sanders.Our message exchange went like this: “Ellie, gently” is without a doubt one of the creepiest and downright darkest things I’ve ever read. less like being breathed on by the ghost of a guy who died trying to fuck Melinda, objectively the hottest of his pet iguanas.All of a sudden I’m feeling the pain of straight/actual bi women who do online dating. Whatever his shtick is, the image he’s created in my mind – that of this bespectacled and curmudgeonly social reformer/sexual megalomaniac – is ruining my day.

He calls himself “Christian Sanders”, as though his support for a particular candidate for the Democratic Party leadership somehow has something to do with wanting to spank a woman nearly young enough to be his granddaughter.“I indulge in a spectrum of mild vices,” he writes, “by which I more mean those ingested by the senses than merely orally.” I’m sure I’ve overheard this same guy 400 times in 400 different Brooklyn coffee shops.And if he isn’t the type who posts long Facebook statuses with the word “methinks” lurking within like a buoyant turd, then I’m a potato waffle. “I greatly anticipate living in a nation & culture that’s even more a model & inspiration to the world than ever before,” he writes.Returning to the Christian Sanders thread, I ask him (I’m genuinely curious about this) whether his support for Bernie and interest in sexually dominating women are mutually exclusive. I have no idea what the second “yes” is in reference to, but he signed it “Master”, so who am I to argue?The rush of relief when I delete my account is the closest I ever want to get to Bernie Sanders giving me an orgasm.In fact, I kind of respected her for being so upfront about her kink.

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